My Life turned DOWN SIDE UP
by itachiisaweasel
Summary: Sakura, a poor highschooler was spotted by rich guy Sasuke ,the next day, she finds her picture in the newspaper saying"UCHIHA EMPIRE HEIR SASUKE UCHIHA FOUND HIS BRIDE SAKURA HARUNO" Please read and review, and read my first story,"Who will I choose?"
1. Chapter 1

Hi, itachiisaweasel here and this is my new story (can't get this out of my mind so I wrote it!!hehe)

Please read my first story 'Who will I choose'!!

_

* * *

_**7:15 am, some apartment near Konoha high.**

_**I'm sure there's no guy that is going to be interested in me, except Naruto and that Lee guy .But they don't count!! I mean, who would be interested in a girl whose hair color is stupidly an awfully pink with annoying green eyes and a bill board size forehead, and who posses a strength that rivals a monster?!! To top that, I'm so POOR!!Ialready have a part time job in a café but still, I can barely afford my apartment!!Heck! Even my parents work their ass off just to provide my needs!** -_thoughtSakura Haruno , 17 years old, a high school student in Konoha Public High School as she ate her breakfast in her small dining room. After finishing breakfast, she put her plates in the sink, grabbed her bag, and went to school.

* * *

**9:00 am, in a gigantic mansion in Japan.**

_BLAH BLAH BLAH, and BLAH BLAH BLAH, that's all I hear from the woman in front of me. Damn, why does she have to be annoying, I'v been sitting here in my very soft couch for 2 hours, listening to stupid women's blabbering about who they are, what they like, why they want to be my bride, just so annoying!!_-Sasuke Uchiha, second son of the owner of the Uchiha empire thought as he stared blankly at the auburn haired woman in front of him and pressed the 'NO' button.

"NEXT!"

"My name is Kari-" the woman who was to be interviewed was cut off.

"You're ugly, NEXT!!" Sasuke Uchiha shouted as he pushed the 'NO' botton and alarmed the next woman in the line.

"Name?" Sasuke asked a woman who looked like she just came out of a fashion magazine wearing all those weird accessories and a little piece of cloth she calls a dress.

"Eri Sawachika" the blonde woman said 'seductively'

" Do you hate shopping?" Sasuke asked

" Ofcourse I hate shopping! I like doing productive things!" Ino answered

"Then get out of here and do something productive, I know you're lying, NEXT!!" Sasuke shouted again as he pressed the 'NO' button

The butler entered the door and walked towards Sasuke

"Sorry, I'm not **gay** Kakashi-san, next!" Sasuke said as he, again, pressed the 'NO' button

"Sasuke-sama, I'm not here for the interview, the last woman you sent out was the last one in the line" Kakashi told Sasuke.

Sasuke frowned and said, "What's wrong with my father?! Why the hell does he want me to look for a bride?! He even said that any woman will do, rich or poor!!"

"Sasuke-sama, as I recall in your last conversation with your father, he wanted you to look for a bride because he can't wait anymore to have a grandchild, and also because he thinks that you're **ga**-" Kakashi was cut off by Sasuke

"ZIP! Don't even think of continuing that stupid word that starts with letter 'g', I haven't been in school for 2 days just because father wants me to talk to all those stupid women and get a bride!!" Sasuke exclaimed

"Sasuke-sama, why don't you explore the city, look around in the place and spot the girl that you're looking for." Kakashi said as he tried to calm the young master.

"It's better than sitting here and talking to girls, I always end up pressing the red button." Sasuke said as he stood up ( The yes button is blue)

"It's because you're so friggin picky." Kakashi mumbled but Sasuke heard it.

" What did you just say?" Sasuke asked as Kakashi prepared the limo

"Nothing Sasuke-sama, I was just happy you liked my idea" Kakashi lied.

"Hn."

* * *

**2:30 pm, Konoha high, Room 205**

Poke

Poke

Poke

Po-

"What?!" Sakura hissed as she turned to Naruto Uzumaki

"What's the answer in number 1?" Naruto whispered

"It's 28, jeez Naruto, it's just simple addition!!" Sakura answered

"Thanks Sa-chan, you're d' man!" Naruto thanked Sakura as he patted her back.

"Whatever." Sakura said as she resumed answering the test paper.

Poke

Poke

Poke

"What?!" Sakura turned again to Naruto

"What about number 2?" Naruto asked as he grinned at Sakura

…………..

……………………

……………………………

"It's 1. Stupid" Sakura said as she turned back to her work "and don't ever ask me again." She added

After 5 minutes, Sakura finished the test and started doodling on the back of her test paper.

20 minutes later

"Class, 5 minutes more and you'll pass your test paper, finished or not finished!" Anko-sensei announced.

BLAG

Sakura turned and saw Naruto. She fisted his hair and saw a very HORRIBLE looking Naruto, bleeding nose, saliva scattered on the sides of his mouth and some on his paper.

"Sa-Sakura-chan, I- I'm going to die…..my rubber duckie is yours and all the ramen coupons from Ichiraku, all my orange stuff goes to Hinata-chan, and my milk in the fridge to Tonton, my boxers and socks goes to-" Naruto was interrupted by Sakura

"Naruto, what is it?! Why didn't you tell me you have some cancer, or any disease that is VERY deadly??!!" Sakura said as tears started to form in her eyes.

"N-no, Sakura-chan, I'm don't have a disease. I can't answer these weird questions in this stupid paper, they're confusing me!!" Naruto told Sakura

"Okay, I'll help you, what number are you in?" Sakura asked

"I'm in number 3." Naruto replied

……..

……………

………………..

A bird chirped

A leaf fell

A car passed the gate

"What?!" –Sakura exclaimed

"Number 3. Jeez Sakura, you maybe smart but your ears are-"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ARE **THAT** STUPID TO NOT ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS!! THE ONLY ANSWER IN YOUR PAPER ARE THE ANSWERS I GAVE TO YOU!!" Sakura shouted as she picked up Naruto by his shirt and threw him in the window.

"Haruno!! No violence in this class! Go back to your seat!!" Anko-sensei exclaimed as she collected the papers.

...............

........

Anko was about to get out of the door....

"Sensei, what about Naruto?" some random student asked

"Let the stupid boy rot outside." Anko said as she went out of the room and the bell rang.

Sakura hurriedly picked up all her things and went straight outside.

-

-

-

* * *

Sakura was walking to the café where she works when some tough looking guys blocked her way

_**Man, why does this always happen to me?**-Sakura thought as she glared at the guys_

"Hey pinky, you're cute, want to go out with us?" one of the guys asked

Sakura rolled her eyes and said, "Get out of my way or else.."

"Or else what? Pinky." The man said as he started to reach for Sakura's hair.

"Or else you die." Sakura said as she launched a kick and hit the guy straight in the face.

"What the hell, she kicks like a horse!!" 2 more guys said as they lunged at Sakura

"Feh, weaklings." Sakura said as she started to beat the shit out of the guys.

* * *

-

-

-

Sasuke was sitting on his limo, bored. He didn't find any suitable girl as his bride. He was about to lose hope when he spotted a pink-haired woman in her school uniform, beating three tough-looking guys.

_Wow,she's strong, and cute_-Sasuke thought and smirked

"I found her, Kakashi!" Sasuke said as he stared at Sakura

The limo stopped.

"Get all the details about that girl with the pink hair. She's my bride" Sasuke told Kakashi

"Hai, Sasuke-sama" Kakashi replied and ordered a man to follow Sakura and investigate her

"She's out on the news tomorrow." Sasuke said as he commanded the chauffeur to resume driving.

* * *

The next morning in Konoha Public High School……

"OMG!!!! Sakura-chan!! You're so L-U-C-K-Y, I'm so jealous!!" Ino Yamanaka, the loudest girl in class 2-A(Sakura's class) shouted the moment she spotted Sakura on the school gate.

Sakura gave a 'what-the-hell' look on Ino

"OMG! OMG! OMG! You're so famous now ya know!!!" Ino shouted again as she neared Sakura. She noticed that all other students in school are holding a newspaper and are all staring at her

"I didn't know that the school paper is to be released today." Sakura said to Ino

"NO, IT'S NOT THE SCHOOL BULLETIN, IT'S THE WORLD BULLETIN, THE WORLD!! AS IN THE PLANET EARTH THAT CONTAINS HUMANS AND ALL OTHER CREATURES!!"Ino again, exclaimed

"OOOOOk, What did I do now?" Sakura asked. Annoyed at Ino's loudness early in the morning

"You're on the NEWS!!!" Ino exclaimed as she handed Sakura a newspaper

Sakura stared at the newspaper. There was a picture of her on the front page and some guy with raven black hair and onyx eyes. The guy possesses aristocratic beauty.

Sakura read the title loudly.

"HEIR OF THE UCHIHA EMPIRE SASUKE UCHIHA FOUND HIS BRIDE SAKURA HARUNO." Sakura said

"What about it?" Sakura asked.

5

4

3

2

1

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!! " Sakura shouted as she read the rest of the article

Hehehe, this story has been bugging my mind for 3 days, I think I'd die if I didn't put it here..haha

Anyways, tell me if you'd like me to continue this story

Please read and review!!


	2. And the queen of England proposed

Whoa, that was SO MANY reviews for the first chapter!!! Domo arigato gozaimasu!!!I appreciate them! I didn't really expect that you guys would like my story, anyway please also support my other fic, Who will I choose?

Now, on with the story:

* * *

_"HEIR OF THE UCHIHA EMPIRE SASUKE UCHIHA FOUND HIS BRIDE SAKURA HARUNO." Sakura said_

_"What about it?" Sakura asked._

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!! " Sakura shouted as she read the rest of the article_

* * *

50 meters away from Konoha High gates, an Aston Martin DBS V12(he has license because he's an Uchiha XD) is parked, and in the driver's seat, a man with raven black spiky hair , wearing a Dolce&Gabbana DG2027B sun glasses and an Armani suit is talking in the phone.

"Is the target in position?" Sasuke asked the man in the other line

"Hai" replied Kakashi

"How about phase 1, is it complete?" Sasuke asked again

"They are currently in action, Sasuke-sama." Kakashi said

"And the helicopter above?" –Sasuke

"Hai, it's already in position." –Kakashi

"Was it noticed by the civilians?"-Sasuke

"Iie, the helicopter is in a good distance, near enough for the effects when you arrive at the spot."-Kakashi

"How about the music?" –Sasuke

"Hai, the pianist is in position and the piano is in perfect condition."-Kakashi

"What is the target doing?" Sasuke asked as he smirked

"The target is……….well……blabbering…." Kakashi replied as he scratched his head

"Hn,we are not going to fail this, execute phase 2, if we fail, all of you are fired" Sasuke said as he started to drive to Konoha high.

-

-

* * *

Back to Konoha High

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!! THIS IS NOT TRUE!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY! WHY THE HELL AM I MARRYING HIM?!" Sakura screeched after reading the article.

"I'm gonna sue this guy!!" She yelled angrily

………

………

"Do you have the money? it's the Uchiha empire heir you're going to fight ya know?" Ino asked as she raised her eye brow

………

Silence

……

"I don't have the money, but, well, whatever! But this shit is not true!!" Sakura yelled again and continued to rant on 'how the hell did this happen to me' and 'who the hell does he think he is'

"AND THIS WHATSHISFACE UCHIHA GUY IS SO-" Sakura stopped ranting when she noticed that NOBODY is listening to her and all the students are staring at her back with stupid looks. She turned around robotically and her eyes widened. Maids are rolling a red carpet from the gate and are walking towards her, removing all the dirt in the vicinity and lots of guards are outside the gate.

…………….

Silence

………….

Silence

"Ne, Ino, is the queen of England visiting our school?" Sakura asked a dazed Ino

……………

"I…..don't…… know." Ino answered robotically as the maids finished preparing the carpet and got back to the limo with a few guards and the limo zoomed away from the school. Then an Aston Martin DBS V12 stopped in front of the gates

"Is there a shooting of Quantum of Solace sequel here?" some random James Bond fan asked

"What the hell is a James Bond car doing here in this poor school?!" another random guy asked

"Yeah, and who the hell is that Jane Bang?!" Naruto asked

"It's James Bond, stupid!!" one of Naruto's classmate shouted at him as Sakura just stared dumbly at the car, wondering what's going on. Students kept arguing about the car when rose petals started to fall from the sky(that's the purpose of the helicopter!!LOL) and river flows in you in piano started playing in the background

"Rose petals?! Is this Ouran High Host Club the movie?! KYAAA!!" Some anime otaku shouted

The driver of the James Bond car got out and walked in all his gorgeous glory as if in some prestigious Oscar awards, slowly removing his oh-so-expensive shades , wearing his 'im-the-king-smirk' as he walked in the red carpet

"OMG! It's THE Sasuke Uchiha!! KYAA!!" all the Konoha girls squealed with Ino's being the loudest. "Oh-Mi-Gosh! He puts G in gorgeous, he's the royal hawtness!!" Ino added

Sasuke smirked as he stopped in front of Sakura.

……….

…………

Silence

"Is the queen of England supposed to be a HE and has a duck hair style?" Sakura asked dumbly as she stared at Sasuke

*twitch*

*twitch*

Relax

*smirks*

"Sakura Haruno, you are the lucky one chosen by this Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke said dramatically as he kneeled and opened a box containing a very expensive looking silver ring with a heart shaped diamond on top and other smaller diamonds surrounding the ring.

"I can get you out of your pathetic life, I can give you the world! so, will you marry me?" Sasuke asked a VERY silent Sakura

………..

……….

………

"The world is not enough." Sakura said darkly

*gasps from students*

"Wow, Haruno-chan! You didn't tell us you're the new leading lady of James Bond!Oh my gosh! We really are in a shooting!!" the students shouted after they heard the familiar line of James Bond(James Bond said this to Elektra King,The world is not enough,1999 movie)

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID PEOPLE! AND YOU!*points to Sasuke* WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DESCRIBING MY LIFE AS PATHETIC!?YOU, YOU DUCK!!!" Sakura snapped

*Sasuke twitches*

*twitch*

*closes box and stands up*

*snaps fingers*

"Kakashi! Abandon plan A! Resort to plan B!" Sasuke said as Kakashi handed him a megaphone

*CLEARS THROAT*

"Everyone of you in Konoha high, do you want to have a 2-week break from school?" Sasuke said in the megaphone

"HELL YEAH!!" The students shouted

"Then convince this Sakura Haruno to marry me!" –Sasuke

Some students shouted" Go Haruno, marry that guy!!" and many shouted "No we won't fall in your trap!"

"Hn, If that so, You'll have a two weeks break from school and a day at the Uchiha resort, how about that?"Sasuke again, tried to get the students on his side (Uchiha resort-most prestigious resort in the city with most expensive entrance fee)

Many yelled "It's a once in a blue moon chance, say 'I will', Haruno!!" but there are still who didn't agree

_**What the hell is happening here again?**-Sakura thought_

_**Hn, still tough, eh? I still have another ace**-Sasuke thought  
_

"Hn, okay, I retract the former deals, I'll just tell the school principal to have a **GREEN SPANDEX SUIT** as the school unifo-" –Sasuke was interrupted

"I- I WILL MARRY YOU!! God! I hate that outfit!" Sakura shouted just before Sasuke finished his statement and just before the students could react

"Hn" Sasuke said as he put the ring in Sakura's finger

_I can't believe I'm marrying the queen of England just because I hate that spandex suit! But hey! that suit came from hell!_

Then the students roared and clapped

"HARUNO-CHAN! YOU SAVED US FROM DOOM!!!" The students shouted

-

-

-

* * *

Somewhere in the crowd

"Gai-sensei!"-Lee

"Lee!" –Gai

"Gai-sensei!"-Lee

"Lee!"-Gai

"How dare they insult our youthful fashion!" Lee and Gai said as they ran towards the sunset

* * *

Wahaha…that's the second chapter! I know it's very short!

I hope to get more **reviews**!!

-itachiisaweasel-


	3. Detectors gone wild

OMG! Thanks for the reviews! I truly appreciate them! KYAAAA!!!

-itachiisaweasel-

* * *

"Hn, okay, I retract the former deals, I'll just tell the school principal to have a **GREEN SPANDEX SUIT** as the school unifo-" –Sasuke was interrupted

"I- I WILL MARRY YOU!! God! I hate that outfit!" Sakura shouted just before Sasuke finished his statement and just before the students could react

"Hn" Sasuke said as he put the ring in Sakura's finger

_I can't believe I'm marrying the queen of England just because I hate that spandex suit! But hey! that suit came from hell!_

Then the students roared and clapped

"HARUNO-CHAN! YOU SAVED US FROM DOOM!!!" The students shouted

-

-

-

Somewhere in the crowd

"Gai-sensei!"-Lee

"Lee!" –Gai

"Gai-sensei!"-Lee

"Lee!"-Gai

"How dare they insult our youthful fashion!" Lee and Gai said as they ran towards the sunset

* * *

After the…….evil deal from Sasuke a.k.a. marriage proposal, Sasuke left saying he needed to go to school. Classes in Konoha High were resumed.

Sakura is slumped in her seat, not bothering to listen to her teacher.

"Haruno, please translate this in English" Shizune said when she noticed that Sakura isn't listening.

_boku-tachi wa samayoi nagara_

_ikite yuku doko made mo_

_furikaeru_

_michi wo tozashi_

_aruite'ku eien ni_

Sakura smirked, opened her moth and said, "We live our lives wandering to the ends of the off the way back,we walk on for eternity."

"Very good." Shizune said, amazed at Sakura

"Wow, forehead, you were off traveling in Barney's la la land yet you were able to translate it in English!!" Ino shouted at Sakura causing her classmates to agree.

"Are you some alien from outer space and is planning on the Earth's doom?" a classmate asked

"Maybe that huge forehead of hers contains some communicating device to talk with her co-aliens!" an ET fan intelligently said, holding 'alien detectors'

"SEE?! IT BEEPS!!" he added

"Sakura-san, don't call the ANBU just because you don't want to marry THE Uchiha Sasuke!" anothe member of the ET club added.

"And what the hell is ANBU?" Sakura asked

"Don't pretend to be innocent! We already blow up your cover! Incase you have an alien amnesia, ANBU is AlienNBU or something like that!!My alien detector also beeps!!"-random classmate

(I have a disease, the 'im lazy to name character' disease, please bear with me)

"Stupids! that's no alien detector! That's CRAP DETECTOR! Akamaru's crap is scattered in the classroom!" Kiba yelled

"NO! It's not crap detector! I bought it from an astronaut! He said he got it from the sun!" the ET fan defended

"You're still stupid you believed him! No one has ever stepped on the sun!" Kiba shot back

"BUT SAKURA-SAN IS STILL AN ALIEN, WITH CRAP DETECTOR OR WITHOUT!!"They all yelled

Twitch

Twitch

Sigh

Vein pops

"YOU! YOU STUPID PIECES OF GREEN PEAS!!IS THIS HOW YOU GUYS PAY ME BACK?! I JUST SAVE YOU FROM THE ETERNAL DAMNATION OF WEARING A SPANDEX!!" Sakura shouted at her classmates

"My beautiful and youthful cherry blossom! What a youthful speech from you! But why must you insult my youthful fashion!!"

"LEE!WE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SAID! ALL WE HEARD WAS YOUTHFUL CRAP AND-!" the classmates screamed

"Aren't you crying with Gai-sensei in the beach where the sunset and the waves are or somewhere else 'youthful'?" Sakura finished,curious why he got here just after he heard the 'spandex' word.

………

……….

"My 'youthful' senses twitched, it told me that you are talking about my youthful fashion,and I finished my youthful cry 10 minutes ago." Lee replied with an 'isn't it obvious' voice

"OMG! I knew it! That suit has evil powers! You're the real alien here!!"

Sigh

"Atleast, the 'alien curse' is passed to Lee" Sakura said as she sat on her chair as her classmates resumed their 'who is the alien in the class' argument

"Who said there is an alien here?" Shizune asked as she watched her class in chaos, long forgotten her lesson for the day.

-

-

Meanwhile, a janitor holding his mop is walking in a corridor, he was shocked when the 'mop' beeped violently when he passed class 2-A's room. "Oh my God, is this mop some loser detector?!" The janitor asked himself

"Hai, that is." a beeping Sai said with his outstretched hand doing an 'L' sign in his glowing fingers.

"Why are your fingers glowing?!" the janitor asked Sai

"I am.......special, I can sense losers. " Sai said as he continued to beep and went inside the room. The janitor shivered and ran away

(Sorry, I had to add this Sai part! I won't be able to sleep if I didn't!!hehe)

* * *

Sakura just finished her shift on the cafe and is walking on her way home. She walked faster when she noticed that there is a black car following her.

_Is this some kidnapper or what?_-Sakura thought as she doubled her pace.

When Sakura reached her apartment, her eyes widened at what she saw, or at what she didn't see. All her furnitures are gone,she ran to her bedroom, her bed, her dresser, and all her clothes are gone.

"What the hell?! Am I robbed?!" Sakura shouted

"No Sakura-chan, I threw your filthy things away and replaced them with better ones."Sasuke said as a large truck carrying brand new appliances and expensive looking furnitures stopped in front of her apartment.

Sakura turned to .Blink.

"Look, Duck-san" Sakura started

"I'm not a duck" Sasuke replied darkly

"Oh. My bad, queen of England-sama……" Sakura started again

"And I absolutely am not the queen of England" Sasuke said as veins start to pop in his head

"Sorry I forgot your friggin name! What is it then?!" Sakura asked angrily, annoyed at Sasuke's interruptions

"It's Uchiha Sasuke" Sasuke said, suddenly, the air was filled with arrogance

"Well then Uchiha-san, about the engagement thing, my parents don't kno-"

"They know already. " Sasuke cut her off.

"See, they won't agree, I'm just 17 yea-"

"In fact, just before I opened my mouth, they already said yes." Sasuke cut her off again

"Told ya-wait, what?! They agreed?! I thought they will back me up!! Oh my God, my parents sold me to the devil.T-TRAITORS!!!!!!!! " Sakura shouted as she kneeled on the floor dramatically

Silence

Silence

Silence

"Oh, and please stop with all the furnitures because I don't need them." Sakura said as she fanned herself

"They are for your parents." Sasuke said

"No, I can't accept that, and if I do, I can't bring it in their hou-"-Sakura

"Your parents will live here." –Sasuke

"Okay then! And we will be a happy fami-" –Sakura

"You will live at the Uchiha mansion with ME."-Sasuke

"Okay, just stop cutting my sentences off, wait, what the hell did you just say?!" Sakura shouted at Sasuke

"You will live at the Uchiha mansion." Sasuke repeated

…………..

……..

…………….

Deciding that she couldn't win against an Uchiha, she just made her final request.

"Uchiha-san, where are my parents going to come here?" Sakura asked

"Next week." Sasuke replied

"Can I stay here for the rest of the week? I want to visit my parents' place but I have school and I can't fail class and because we have a play and-"

"That can be arranged." Sasuke cut in raised his hand in the air and snapped his appeared out of nowhere.

"Hai, Sasuke-sama?" Kakashi asked

"Announce a 1-week break in Konoha High and in my school. It will start tomorrow." Sasuke said

"Hai." Kakashi replied as he dialed a number and disappeared

Sakura stared

And stared

And stared

"What was that?" Sakura asked, still shocked at what this Uchiha guy can do.

"A mushroom,a loyal mushroom, you see IT pops out of nowhere whenever I snap my finger or call his name, even if I am a MILE away." Sasuke said referring to Kakashi

(poor Kakashi)

"No, I wasn't referring to the old man, I mean, I know you're rich and all but, are you THAT rich to do THAT?" Sakura asked

"Hm, my family have connections to other people." Sasuke said and again, snapped his fingers. Suddenly men wearing black suits and shades grabbed her and went to the car with Sasuke following behind.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Sakura asked as she struggled to get free. She's strong, but she's outnumbered.

"I can only grant you one request, and I chose the latter, so you're going to the Uchiha mansion with me."-Sasuke

"Wait, I don't have spare clothes to change and-"-Sakura

"They are all at home." –Sasuke

"But Ichecked my drawers and-" Sakura

"Home, as in the Uchiha mansion where YOU will stay with us"-Sasuke

* * *

I KNOW IT'S BORING ,OKAY? SO PLEASE NO FLAMES

here is the preview of the next chapter

PREVIEW:

"_When the hell is that stupid guy coming back?!" Sasuke yelled in frustration._

_"Sasuke-sama, we know that Itachi-san is not here becau-" Kakashi was cut off_

_"HE'S NOT HERE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND WENT SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW WITH A STICK UP HIS ASS!" Sasuke finished._

_"HN, WHO WENT SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW WITH A STICK UP HIS ASS? LITTLE BROTHER? WHY ARE YOU SO ANXIOUS, DID YOU MISS THE ROYAL HOTNESS?" ITACHI SAID AS HE ENTERED THE HOUSE…ERR MANSION_

_"SO YOU FINALLY PULLED THE STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DECIDED TO COMEBACK, EH? AND ROYAL HOTNESS? SERIOUSLY, HOW STUPID WAS THAT?! ONLY GAYS ARE INTERESTED IN YOU!" SASUKE SAID AS HE POINTED AT HIS BROTHER_

_"Then, you must be GAY." Itachi said nonchalantly as he set his suitcase down_

_"WHAT??!!!!!!!" –Sasuke_

* * *

Again, I know this chapter's boring. T_T because this chapter is rushed

EXPLANATION, ANIME OTAKU VERSION:

I just received an urgent mission from the Hokage, an undercover mission to Akatsuki. If I fail, I'll be beheaded.

EXPLANATION, NORMAL KID VERSION:

My mom FORCED me to attend summer tutorials and told me to inquire the tutor TODAY, If I don't ,I'll be banned from all my gadgets, Ugghh, I hate her!

P.S. Mom, If you're ALSO secretly reading this story, I will NOT UPDATE if you yell at me!!!*kukukukuku*

**Please review!!! **


	4. The reason behind the rumors

Yo, sorry for the VERY late update!!

Here's chapter 4 and please don't forget to leave a **REVIEW**!!

In this chapter, you will know the reason about the rumored 'Uchiha clan massacre'(yeah, in this fic there is a rumor like that..LOL)

* * *

"What was that?" Sakura asked, still shocked at what this Uchiha guy can do.

"A mushroom,a loyal mushroom, you see **IT** pops out of nowhere whenever I snap my finger or call his name, even if I am a** MILE** away." Sasuke said referring to Kakashi

(poor Kakashi)

"No, I wasn't referring to the old man, I mean, I know you're rich and all but, are you THAT rich to do THAT?" Sakura asked

"Hm, my family have connections to other people." Sasuke said and again, snapped his fingers. Suddenly men wearing black suits and shades grabbed her and went to the car with Sasuke following behind.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Sakura asked as she struggled to get free. She's strong, but she's outnumbered.

"I can only grant you one request, and I chose the latter, so you're going to the Uchiha mansion with me."-Sasuke

"Wait, I don't have spare clothes to change and-"-Sakura

"They are all at home." –Sasuke

"But I checked my drawers and-" Sakura

"Home, as in the Uchiha mansion where YOU will stay with us"-Sasuke

"NOW?! As in right now? This hour, this minute, this second?!" –Sakura

"Hn." Sasuke said as Kakashi opened the car door and let them in

"_What did I do in my past life to be in this situation?!"_ Sakura asked herself

* * *

The whole drive to the Uchiha mansion was silent except for little 'hn' and 'aa' from Sasuke whenever Sakura asked a question. Sakura finally got bored and TRIED to crack him.

"Wow, I sure discovered a lot of things from my _future husband._" Sakura said sarcastically

"Really? You had me investigated because finally you realized your undying love for me?" Sasuke asked not noticing the sarcasm in her voice as he smirked

"No, they are just based on my observations." Sakura said

"Oh? So you LOVE to ogle your dear future husband." Sasuke said as his smirk grew wider

"No, even a blind idiot will know that this person beside me *points to Sasuke* is an arrogant bastard who is a pathetic excuse for the queen of England and has a duck hairstyle and is VERY mentally NOT stable." Sakura said as she enumerated her,,,,,uh,,,observations.

**"Hn?!!" +raised eyebrow and annoyed look** (translation:What the hell?! Mentally NOT stable?)

"See?! The only words…errr grunt…errr sound you produce are 'hn' and 'aa', and you speak REAL words in very RARE times, heck! Even a baby has a wider vocabulary than yours! Maybe it takes so much energy from you whenever you talk in the _human_ language, don't worry Sasuke –KUN, I, Sakura Haruno, will understand her mentally unstable future husband –slash- queen of England!!" Sakura said enthusiastically as she pumped her fists in the air. Kakashi snickered at Sakura's statement and Sasuke gave him the 'shut-up-or-you're-fired' glare while Kakashi gave the 'you-can't-fire-me-but-your-father-can-' look

And they began the 'glare talk'

Sasuke: 'Oh-really-I-shall-tell-father-then

Kakashi: 'just-try-maybe-you-are-the-one-to-get-fired'

Sasuke:'Hn?'

Kakashi: 'I-have-been-working-for-your-father-ever-since-the-world-began'

Sasuke:'Hn,-that's-why-you-have-white-hair-old-pervert.'

Sakura wondered why the mushroom-san and queen of England-sama can actually have a 'conversation' with just….glares and an idea popped in her head as she faced Kakashi.

"Ne, mushroom-san, can you teach me how to understand this mentally unstable child's language? It must be really hard for you to have him as a company every single day, ne? Understanding his…body language is such a HUGE accomplishment!!" Sakura praised mushroom-san

"Sakura-sama, I am not mushroom-san and again, for the third time, that mentally unstable guy beside you is NOT the queen of England, I am Kakashi." Kakashi said as he explained the characters of this fiction to Sakura

"Oh, I know he's not the queen of England Kakashi-san, it is just cute for him to be the queen of England, but I think it will be England's downfall if that happens!!" Sakura said cheerfully

"Hn, we're here." Sasuke butted in, annoyed at the two talking about him

Tall black gates, a bunch of guards a very beautiful garden, a huge fountain and a huge house..errr mansion reached Sakura's view.

"THIS is your place?!" Sakura asked

"Hn, you will be living here,too" Sasuke said and wore his arrogant smirk

"Oh-my-God." Sakura said as she admired the place and Sasuke's smirk reached level 2, the arrogantER smirk.(does he ever stop smirking?)

They got out of the car as Sasuke lead her to the stairs and opened a door that exposed a double king-sized bed with black covers,black pillows, black walls, black laptop on the corner, a black dresser, another black door, black curtains, black tiles..in short..everything is black.

Sakura sighed.

.tsk

"I knew it! This isn't your place!! We are in a set of a horror movie!! What movie is it? **The massacre of the queen of England**? Or **the haunted mansion 2: curse of the emo duck**?Where would the bloody scene take place? The bed? The bathroom, I bet you are the lead character there!" Sakura rambled in her'im-so-genius' voice

*twitch*

*twitch*

"Sakura, you are in my place and this is your room, my room, OUR room." Sasuke said as he gritted his teeth

"What?! I'm going to share this room that looked like a voodoo area where mentally unstable witches perform emo-ic spells with you?!" Sakura asked

"Yes, father's orders. Your clothes are in the closet and your school bag is in the table beside the bed, and I have to inform father that you arrived. See you later." Sasuke said as he shut the door and left Sakura in their room

-

-

* * *

"Otou-sama, I would like to inform you that Sakura is here now." Sasuke said as he sat on the couch of his father's study.

"Hn, I heard that you are going to Sakura-chan's parents' place for a week?" Fugaku asked

"Hai, are you against that?" Sasuke asked his father

"No, it's just that Sakura will leave a day ahead of you because you have to attend this business meeting in China." Fugaku stated

"………"

"I know it is my job but I have a business meeting in Hawaii, and I know you are too young for it but Itachi is nowhere to be found, and I'm pretty sure you can handle this business meeting since you are an Uchiha." Fugaku added

"……….Hai, just one day." Sasuke said as he left the study

-

-

* * *

Sasuke cursed his brother mentally and thought of writing a book entitled ' 101 ways to ruin Itachi's life.' And realized that he doesn't have enough 'evidences' so he canceled the thought and started to think of Sakura.

'**_Man, I can't afford to hurt her feelings, I can't tell her that I won't be with her when the time she gets reunited with her loving parents, she'll be totally depressed that she would lock herself in a room and not eat for days!! How could I tell her such a cruel thing like that?!'_** Thought a very depressed(though he'll not show it..coz he's well..Sasuke) Sasuke as he stopped in front of their room.

*Sigh*

**_'This is it'_**

_**'I hope, you will forgive me Sakura, but I have to break your heart'**_ (insert tears from Sasuke)

Sasuke opened the door and found a very happy and celebrating like there's no tomorrow Sakura. Sasuke grimaced at the scene

_**'How can I tell her such an ill thing when she is so excited about the upcoming bonding time with me? Oh God, what should I do?! I can't break her vulnerable woman heart!'**_ –Sasuke thought dramatically

"SASUKE-KUN!!" Sakura shouted excitedly

Sasuke gave her a fake smile

"SASUKE-KUN!! I'M SO FREAKIN EXCITED!!IT'S TOMORROW!TOMORROW!!' Sakura shouted happily and resumed to celebrate like she just won 25 million dollars

_**'Shit, but I have to say this.'**_-Sasuke thought

"Sakura-chan"-Sasuke stated affectionately

"KYAAAA!! SASUKE-KUN!I'M SO EXCITED!!"-Sakura

"Saku-"-Sasuke

"I'M SO FRIGGIN HAPPY!!"-Sakura

Annoyance got to Sasuke's bones and……..

"SAKURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Sasuke…errr…shouted

"What?" Sakura asked

*clears throat*

"I am truly madly deeply sorry to disappoint you, I w-"Sasuke was cut off

"Wait." Sakura now had a sad face and had a look of disappointment

'**_Shit, that look.!'_**-Sasuke thought

"Sa-Sasuke…does this m-mean…." **_That the business meeting you have was canceled and you will go with me and annoy me to death?_**-was what she was going to say but she was cut off by Sasuke's dramatic revelation of the 'miserable' truth

"Yes, I won't be able to grace you with my gorgeous presence for a short time due to some business meeting I have to attend tomorrow." Sasuke said, with a look that said 'im-so-sorry-i-cant-be-with-you'

"…………."

"……………."

Sasuke sensed Sakura's 'disappointment' and tried to make it up to her

"Look, Sakura I'll try to make-" Sasuke was cut off by Sakura's disappointed scream(atleast in his view)

"YOU MORON! WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT YOUR COMPANY?!THAT BUSINESS MEETING OF YOURS SAVE MY LIFE FROM A DAY OF ANNOYANCE!!IT'S PARTY TIME!!!" Sakura yelled and did the happy dance while singing 'duck-san isn't coming' and danced around the room.

"………."

"……….."

**_Just what the bloody hell was that?! That was a total embarrassment from hell! Is this karma? …..Luckily I didn't voice out my previous thoughts, or else all the people who saw me like that and witnessed this scene shall be assassinated and buried in the pits of hell._**-Sasuke thought as he blushed from embarrassment and ran..err..walked briskly to the bathroom to put his head in the toilet, flush the bowl and let the water suck him to the center of the earth and never comeback.

-

-

-

-

* * *

After hours of brooding, Sasuke finally got out of the bathroom dressed only in boxers. He found Sakura sleeping peacefully in his bed..ahem..their bed. He smirked, forgetting the previous 'encounter' with her and slid on the bed, wrapped an arm around her waist(ofcourse he was smirking here!) and succumbed to sleep.

-

-

* * *

It was already 10:00 am in the morning when Sasuke woke up, 2 hours before his flight to Hongkong,that's a bad news, and Sakura is not here…err…baddER news(LOL). Sasuke got up from his bed and took a shower, got dressed for the meeting and went down for breakfast.

"Where is Sakura?" Sasuke asked the maid

"Sasuke-sama, Sakura-sama has already left 2 hours ago saying she wants to enjoy her day without any 'disturbances', though I do not know what are these disturbances she was referring to" the maid replied

"…………"

_**Disturbance? That woman!**_

"Hn, I'm done." Sasuke said as he stood up and headed to the back door and went to the private jet.

-

* * *

2 days later…..

*Uchiha mansion*

Sasuke was fuming as the maid opened the large wooden door and threw his samsonite bag in the floor, he was beyond pissed.

**_Those annoying businessmen! Why do they have to be so annoying! I lost another fun-filled day with Sakura! Why the hell do I have to do this?! I'm 17! I'm just fucking 17! I'm not supposed to do this Ita-…………._**

**_Itachi_**

**_Itachi_**

"That bastard!!!" Sasuke suddenly shouted

Kakashi, who is currently beside him, flinched

"It's all his freakin fault!! This is all Itachi's fault I have to do this business meeting?!Where the hell is he anyway?!" Sasuke shouted

"Ahem, Sasuke-sama, you don't have to **bitch **around about it, it was just a-." _Ooops.I voiced my thoughts! Prepare for the PMS-ing Sasuke_

"…………"

"…………."

"Did you just say bitch?!" Sasuke yelled as he narrowed his gaze at Kakashi

**Think Kakashi, think! THINK FOR YOUR LIFE YOU MORON!-**Inner Kakashi(yeah,right) said as he tried to…avert Sasuke's attention to another one

"Iie, Sasuke-sama…what I mean was Itachi, yes, Itachi-sama is the bitch, yeah right"Kakashi said as he tried to put Sasuke's attention on Itachi

**_Come on Sasuke, pick up the bait and put your anger on Itachi already or else I'll die!_**

"Yeah, Itachi is such a bastard! When the hell is he coming back anyway?!" Sasuke shouted. Seems like Sasuke took Kakashi's bait

**_There, there_**

"Ahem, Sasuke-sama, We all know that Itachi-sama isn't here becau-" Kakashi was cut off

_**It's okay we got cut off, it's better than to feel the PMs-ing Sasuke's wrath!**_

"HE'S NOT HERE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND WENT **SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW **WITH A STICK UP HIS ASS!!"Sasuke finished for Kakashi

"Hn, who went somewhere over the rainbow with a stick up his ass, little brother? Why are you so anxious? Did you miss this royal hotness?.......and KAKASHI, who did you say was a **BITCH**?! " Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's older brother, who was believed the first person to actually step on a rainbow,asked darkly

Kakashi scratched his head

"Errr…I mean….errr…Yeah, she's the bitch!!!" Kakashi said nervously as he pointed at a random maid. Thank God it was a maid this time, he doesn't need another Uchiha glaring daggers at him

"Hn"-Itachi

"So, you finally got the stick up your ass pulled out and decided to come back, eh? And **royal hotness**?!Seriously, how STUPID was THAT?! Only gays will believe your royal hotness crap!" Sasuke shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at Itachi

"Hn, you must be gay then." Itachi said as he put his suitcase down

"What?! GAY?! Yeah, said someone who threatened me that he **will kill our parents** if I don't play **HOUSE** with him when he was a child! You psychotic gay!!"

"……………"

"…………….."

**_So the rumors were true that the older Uchiha planned to kill his parents because of house. I thought it was the house __inheritance__, not the house __game__!_**-Kakashi thought

"…………"

"…………."

"Hn" Itachi said as he carried his suitcase again and went upstairs to his room.

* * *

LOL

And that is the true reason, for the Uchiha massacre plan rumor(yeah right)

That was chapter 4 for you!  
Again, sorry for the VERY late update!  
And don't forget to **REVIEW!!**

^_^

-itachiisaweasel


	5. SUNA THE BITCH!

Afufufufufuffufu

The evil lord of idiocy is back…errr..what?

OH well, never mind, my brain is not in a good condition right now coz I haven't slept for 3 days due to some unknown reason (T_T) anyway…when was the last time that my brain is fine??! Maybe when I participated in the science contest crap 2 years ago?! (Sasuke: Yes readers, author-san is FORMERLY a nerd. We are very glad that anime managed to get her out of the dark side people call the scientific calculator a PS3 and where people read the chemistry book like it's some shojou manga marked HOT! In mangafox(.)com). (Sakura: Ne, duck-san, did you just say a sentence without a 'hn'?! That's a miracle!!) (Sasuke:Hn) (Sakura:…..I take back what I said….(-_-!)

ARRGGHH

See? I'm talking nonsense now…..

OOOps. Back to the story

* * *

"Did you just say bitch?!" Sasuke yelled as he narrowed his gaze at Kakashi

**Think Kakashi, think! THINK FOR YOUR LIFE YOU MORON!-**Inner Kakashi(yeah,right) said as he tried to…avert Sasuke's attention to another one

"Iie, Sasuke-sama…what I mean was Itachi, yes, Itachi-sama is the bitch, yeah right"Kakashi said as he tried to put Sasuke's attention on Itachi

_**Come on Sasuke, pick up the bait and put your anger on Itachi already or else I'll die!**_

"Yeah, Itachi is such a bastard! When the hell is he coming back anyway?!" Sasuke shouted. Seems like Sasuke took Kakashi's bait

_**There, there**_

"Ahem, Sasuke-sama, We all know that Itachi-sama isn't here becau-" Kakashi was cut off

_**It's okay we got cut off, it's better than to feel the PMs-ing Sasuke's wrath!**_

"HE'S NOT HERE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND WENT **SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW **WITH A STICK UP HIS ASS!!"Sasuke finished for Kakashi

"Hn, who went somewhere over the rainbow with a stick up his ass, little brother? Why are you so anxious? Did you miss this royal hotness?.......and KAKASHI, who did you say was a **BITCH**?! " Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's older brother, who was believed the first person to actually step on a rainbow,asked darkly

Kakashi scratched his head

"Errr…I mean….errr…Yeah, she's the bitch!!!" Kakashi said nervously as he pointed at a random maid. Thank God it was a maid this time, he doesn't need another Uchiha glaring daggers at him

"Hn"-Itachi

"So, you finally got the stick up your ass pulled out and decided to come back, eh? And **royal hotness**?!Seriously, how STUPID was THAT?! Only gays will believe your royal hotness crap!" Sasuke shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at Itachi

"Hn, you must be gay then." Itachi said as he put his suitcase down

"What?! GAY?! Yeah, said someone who threatened me that he **will kill our parents** if I don't play **HOUSE** with him when he was a child! You psychotic gay!!"

"……………"

"…………….."

_**So the rumors were true that the older Uchiha planned to kill his parents because of house. I thought it was the house inheritance, not the house game!**_-Kakashi thought

"…………"

"…………."

"Hn" Itachi said as he carried his suitcase again and went upstairs to his room.

"………………….."

"………………….."

"What a warm welcome to your brother, Sasuke-sama" Kakashi said as he sighed

"Hn. Who's the one who called him a bitch? Ore-SAMA atleast called him a bastard not bitch. Calling him a bitch is a complete insult. That's my way of still considering that he's my father's first son."

"Err…Sasuke-sama…you mean your brother." Kakashi said

"NO! He's my mother's first son!" Sasuke yelled at Kakashi

"Yeah, your brother." Kakashi said and stared annoyingly at Sasuke as if he's some idiot who doesn't know how to make things easier

" I told you he's not my *BEEP*!!" Sasuke yelled again at Kakashi (he even said beep)

"……………….."

" For someone who can turn a whole** PARAGRAPH** into a **GRUNT** which is a trade mark for the Uchihas, you surely have the special power in turning a simple word like 'brother' into something more complex and dramatic like 'your father's first son'. Such a unique ability! No wonder you're the heir!!" Kakashi said sarcastically and arranged the things for Sasuke's trip to Sakura's hometown.

* * *

-

-

Meanwhile in Sunagakure , a woman with pink hair is standing in front of the village gates with men in black suits behind her carrying her suitcases.

(author-san: Suna is not like in the anime where water is BARELY seen. It's some kind of a progressive village near the beach in this fic)

"Oh my GOSH! I cant believe I'm back in Suna!! It's been a long time!!! KYAA!!The relaxing atmosphere! My friends! My neighbors! My parents!....errr…wait..Weren't my PARENTS the people who didn't back me up when queen of England-sama put me in this situation?! They SOLD me to the devil!! They're gonna receive the super Sakura ultimate jutsu!!" Sakura yelled as she ran towards her house and the MIB followed her.

-

-

* * *

"Sakura-sama, we haven't checked if your parents are really here, we can't risk the chance of you being in danger as Sasuke-sama's fiancé so please let us go in first." One of the MIB said

"You MIB-san, this is a happy day of my life free from 'disturbance'. Don't you dare mension the name of that queen of England!!" Sakura yelled as she let the MIB-sanS knock the door (MIB attire: ofcourse, all BLACK suit and shoes plus shades with everyone of them having the same haircut)

KNOCK

KNOCK

*opens*

"What can I do for---OH MY GOD!! YAKUZA!! We aren't doing anything please spare our li-!!*super starlight ultra kick plus laser beams and electromagnetic waves*"(author-san: forgive me, not in proper mind)

"Ittai!" Toshiro Haruno said as he felt the impact of the kick done by the super evil creature. He looked up at the super evil creature

Insert : dark clouds, heavy rains, lightning and thunder, cackling devils with red eyes. And cha!! Evil atmosphere created!!

Cackle cackle cackle

"BAAAKA OOOYYAAAJIIIIII, IIIII'MMMMM HHHHOOOOMMMMEEEEEEEE" the evil creature said also known as Sakura Haruno said in a verrrrry creepy voice that makes the hairs in your back rise

"SSaaa-Saakkuurraaaa-chan!! You're hhh-home!!! Www—what a pppp-pleass-sant su-surprise! Hehe, eh where is your fiancé Sasu-*PUNCH*"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPEAKING OF QUUEEEEEEN OF ENGLAND-SAMA, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU, MY OWN KIND AND TRUSTWORTHY FATHER, BACK ME UUUUP? NE?" Sakura said with the same creepy voice that will make you piss I your pants…

"Ah, Sakura-chan! Okaeri! We did that for you because we just think of your future. I'm SURE you will have a happy life with Sasuke-sama." Yuki Haruno said as she welcomed her daughter with a warm smile(author-san: Sakura can't beat the shit out of her mom because errr..she's her mom?* too lazy to think of a reason*)

"HOUSEWIFE HARUNO-SAMA!! YOU DO UNDERSTAND OUR SASUKE-SAMA'S INTENTIONS! WHAT A FINE WOMAN!!"the MIBs said dramatically with tears over flowing in their shades

"U fu fu fu fu fu, thank you for taking care of my daughter. Would you like to have some tea?" Yuki asked the MIBs

"Iie, Okaa-san, they will leave now, I think quee- errrr Sasuke-san is coming here in 2 days or so." Sakura said as she carried her suitcases, kissed her mother on the cheek and went upstairs to her room.

-

-

NEXT MORNING

*breakfast*

"Ohayou Okaa-san, ohayou BAKA-OYAJI" Sakura said darkly to her father.

"Sakura-chan, don't treat your father like that, come on, have some breakfast." Yuki said gently as she set the plates on the table

"Oh by the way Sakura-chan, would you like to help to the restaurant that Kazekage-sama owns since you are here?" Toshiro asked

"Kazekage-sama?! Sure! It's been a long time since I last saw him and his family!" Sakura beamed

"You mean it's been a long time since you see GAARA-KUN." Yuki said as she chuckled

"Okaa-san! Gaara-kun and I are just best friends!!" Sakura yelled and chomped on her food.

* * *

OHohohohohohoh

I smell something fishy here

Wanna see a jealous Sasuke?!

KUKUKUKUKUKUKU

Oh, and sorry for the late update!!

Forgive me if this chapter is too crappy for you, again because I'm not in the right state of mind

Sasuke:*holds a straitjacket*

Author-san:W-what are you trying to do?!

Sasuke: Demo, author-san, you said you're not in the right state of mind!!

Author-san: Urusai, ahou!! I will end this story right away if you continue this!!

Sasuke: Souka, then I'll continue it so you can stop embarrassing me with the OOCness!!!kukukkuku

Itachi: *stops Sasuke*

Sasuke: What the hell are you doing here first grandson of my grandfather?!

Author-san:You mean your brother

Sasuke:Shut up!

Itachi:Hn, I can't let you do that to author-sama!

Sasuke: Why? She called you gay!!

Itachi: I don't care, readers still find me hot. And I just entered this story!!

Sasuke:Kukuku, poor first grandson of my grandmother, I pity you that you just entered this story while I have the spotlight ever since the story began!

Author-san: ………You mean your brother

SASuke: …………

Itachi:…………..

OKAY!!!  
See ya next chapter when I heal!!!!

-itachiisaweasel


	6. The Difference Between Ass and Bottom

_"Ohayou Okaa-san, ohayou BAKA-OYAJI" Sakura said darkly to her father._

_"Sakura-chan, don't treat your father like that, come on, have some breakfast." Yuki said gently as she set the plates on the table_

_"Oh by the way Sakura-chan, would you like to help to the restaurant that Kazekage-sama owns since you are here?" Toshiro asked_

_"Kazekage-sama?! Sure! It's been a long time since I last saw him and his family!" Sakura beamed_

_"You mean it's been a long time since you saw GAARA-KUN." Yuki said as she chuckled_

_"Okaa-san! Gaara-kun and I are just best friends!!" Sakura yelled and chomped on her food._

*END RECAP*

Sakura sighed as she walked along the road of Suna. The sun is really getting on her system because she is starting to see men, lots of men wearing black suits coming in her way. Those men have the same hair styles except from the man in the middle whose hair resembles a duck's ass and has an umbrella on top of his form.

'_A duck's ass?Where did I last see that again?' Sakura thought deeply_

"What the hell are you doing walking alone under this scorching hot sun?" The duck ass inquired

"Huh?" Sakura asked as she squinted her eyes, trying to see who was speaking to her

"Oh Sasuke! What the hell are you doing here?!" Sakura asked

Sasuke rose one eyebrow…..

" I **believe** I was looking for you that's why I'm walking under this OMG so scorching hot sun" Sasuke said as he wiped his sweat with his handkerchief.

" Well, you should not believe that. You're just hallucinating. And who told you to walk around Suna wearing a suit?! AAAAAnd why are you complaining about the sun being so _"**OMG so schorching hot**"_ if you have an umbrella on top of your **butt**?!" Sakura said

" Sakura, let's go home, the heat is getting into you. See, you have mistaken my head for a butt. You must be tired " Sasuke said with concern in his eyes

"Huh? What? No, it's not the heat. It's just.."

" Sakura-chan?" a masculine voice from behind them asked

Sakura recognized the voice and grew excited

" Gaara-kuuun!!" Sakura said as she hugged the red-haired guy who has a tattoo on his head

"It's been so long Saku-chan : )" Gaara said as he hugged Sakura

"I thought you're not visiting the restaurant because you are taking so long so I came to pick you up and ….oooh what a disturbance." Gaara smirked as he eyed Sasuke

Sakura just laughed because she did'nt understand a thing due to the adrenaline rush she had after seeing her long unseen friend

……………

………..

"Hn" The unheeded man who had a dark look on his face grunted as he left the place and walked toward the Haruno residence with his minions close behind him.

* * *

*Time skip for some hours*

"Ahhh . That was really exhausting!" Sakura said as she entered her home

"Welcome back Sakura-chan"-Mrs. Haruno

" Welcome back Sakura-sama"-Kakashi

"Kakashi-san? You're here, too? Why didn't you go with the MIBs after dropping Sasuke here?" Sakura questioned

"Uhmmm, you see, Sasuke-sama is in _those_ moods wherein it's very dangerous to leave him alone, I wonder why though. He's sulking in the guest room" Kakashi mumbled and rubbed his chin

"Tch. What a PMSing bastard. I'll go talk to him" Sakura said and went upstairs

………….

" Kakashi-san, Sasuke is not in his bedroom!" Kakashi heard Sakura from upstairs and quickly followed her

" I think he jumped through the window" Kakashi said as he inspected the open window

"Really, how dramatic. He must stop watching must have seen that crappy stunt from some old fashioned movie! It's poisoning his already contaminated brain!" Sakura babbled and closed the window

"Right. Let's go find him" Kakashi said and they went outside

* * *

" Kakashi-san, it's really muddy here, and this place is filled with insects! Do you really think he will go here and sulk?" Sakura complained

"No, but it's worth a try. Besides, this is the only place unexplored! We've been looking for that guy with a stick up his bottom for some hours now!" Kakashi exclaimed starting to get annoyed

"…………………….."

"Kakashi-san…."-Sakura

"Yeah?"-kakashi

"I think I found him..and NO, there's no stick up his bottom YET, he's just about to have one." Sakura whispered as she walked silently

* * *

"Sasuke?"-Sakura

"…………….."

"Sasuke-KUN?"- Sakura

* * *

"Sasuke-kuuuuuuuuuuuuun?"-Sakura

"Hn"-Sasuke

"Finally!" She said exasperatedly and 'hugged' Sasuke

"…………………."

"Sakura….."-Sasuke

"Yup?"Sakura

"Why are you touching my ass?"Sasuke inquired raising his eyebrow + a bit blush

"Hmm? NO. I'm not touching your ass!"-Sakura

"Alright. Then, Why are you touching my _butt_?"-Sasuke

"I'm not touching your butt!!" Sakura said as she pulled away

*points at Sasuke's head*

"Now _THAT_ is your ass slash butt." Sakura said confidently

*points to Sasuke's real butt*

"And THAT is your bottom"-Sakura

"…………………………………"

" rude" Sasuke mumbled and began to stand up

"Hey! Don't be mad! I just saved you from a thousand years of pain!!" Sakura defended while pointing a stick at Sasuke

"What?" Sasuke inquired

"This." *referring to the stick*" Was about to go up your bottom so I_ kindly _pulled it away so you won't literally have a stick shoved up your ass! See?! I'm really nice!!"- Sakura grinned

"…………………."+ Glare

"Nice huh." Sasuke said and walked away from her

"Hey!!!" Sakura said and began running towards his direction

* * *

Ok.

That's it :D

I know it has been so long since I last updated :D

I'm sorry abaout that

Anyway, please REVIEW :D


	7. Here comes the old man

" Hey Sasuke" Step…step… step

" Hey Sasuke" More steps

"Hey Saaaasukeeeeeeee" stops

"Hn." But he didn't turn around

"Fill in the blank……I space A-M space S-blank-R-R-Y! You are very smart if you're able to answer that" the pink annoyance( in Sasuke's point of view as of now) said

"..."

"Sorry I'm such a butt-head I can't even comprehend your question, my head is filled with nothing but shit like what you were implying back then." Step..step..step

" I didn't mean that! It was only your hair that looks like an…I mean….No…I... 'Shit that slipped..I …'smyfault "Sakura said in one breath

*smirks*

"Apology accepted" Sasuke said and walked towards her taking her hand

"Did you even understand what I said?" Sakura asked while walking hand in hand with Sasuke

"No" and he stared at Sakura

"Then why did-"

"Shut up. You were apologizing weren't you?" He asked

"Yeah" she blushed

"Ok then. We're in front of your house now" Sasuke said and he moved to open the door

* * *

"What a squalid scene. It is so nauseating seeing the heir of the invincible Uchiha clan with such unsophisticated adornments in his physique" An unseen person said referring to Sasuke's façade

"You could've just said twigs and leaves like a normal kindergarten kid" Sasuke muttered with much annoyance as he sat down on the couch and stared at the kid who was sipping his tea with grace that you cannot find in a child

"This Toushiro does not attend kindergarten, this Toushiro receives lessons from highly professional instructors, although sometimes I do go to a creche" The kid said as he put down his tea cup and stared at Sasuke

"But Toshi-chan kindergarten and crèche are just the same w-" Kakashi was cut off by the kid

"You will refer to me with respect Kakashi-san and please cease your talking, you are not included in this conversation"Toshirou said and glared at kakashi

"Damn,Kakashi-san, you just got owned by a kid!" Sakura laughed in her seat while she pointed at Kakashi

"………………"

*Sigh*

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked the kid

"This Toushiro will stay here for a vacation. I have gained permission from the owners of this house" Toushiro said

"Yeah,yeah, whatever. Just stop mimicking Shitshowhatever from the anime you watch. It 's annoying me"

"It is Sesshoumaru-sama. Do not insult him or he will gladly relieve me of your pathetic existence"Toushiro muttered and climbed the stairs

"Hey Sasuke"-Sakura

"Hn."

"Who's that kid? Is he your son or what?" Sakura asked

"Why? Jealous much?"

"Shut up. I was just curious" Sakura blushed

"He's just my little brothe-"

"NO! This Toushiro is the third son of Uchiha Mikoto!" Toushiro screamed from upstairs

"…………………."

"I guess he has the same 'he's not my brother' complex as you. How old is he anyway? He speaks like an old man" Sakura wondered

"Three."

"……………………………"

"……………………………"

"……………………………"

"He's even smarter than Naruto"-Sakura

"Ofcourse he is .He is an Uchiha."-Sasuke

"Why do I still work for these bastards again?"-Kakashi

"Because I'm hot"-Sasuke

"Really……"*Kakashi's sweat drops*

* * *

Yeah

I know it is boring

But please don't kill me! I have candies!

Sorry

It's just that I am runnig out of ideas

So please help me T.T


	8. AU stands for Author's UniverseXD

Umm... Hi there! I apologize for the super late update. .

So..here's chapter 8. I hope you enjoy it and thanks to the people who left a review!

* * *

"Oi"

No response

" Oi"

Still no response

" Oi, foolish little brother!"

"…."

"Oi, Toushi-" Sasuke was interrupted when Toushiro finally looked up and decided that it was pointless to ignore his brother.

"Just because Itachi stopped calling you foolish little brother doesn't mean you can pass down that curse to me. Don't put me in the same level as you, _aniki._Also, originality helps improve a character's popularity. It helped Itachi reach number 1 in the popularity poll this last issue of Shounen Jump._" _Toushiro muttered and went back to cuddling with his brother's fiancé."And to the readers, please don't google the current popularity poll. I just made it up to make his life miserable."

Sakura twitched.

" What the hell is this kid talking about?"

"Forgive him Sasuke, he's still new to the story. Maybe he forgot that this fic is in the alternate universe where in we are not ninjas and you are not seeking for revenge against Itachi." Sakura said while laughing and played with Toushiro's soft raven locks.

"…"

" I am still seeking for revenge against him."

"For what reason?" Sakura asked

"Hn. It doesn't concern you. How did you know him anyway? " asked Sasuke while approaching the bed "He was introduced in the story the day after you left for Suna"

"Author-san told me. Besides, I actually watch the original anime where we are from unlike someone else who was just inclined in revenge that he didn't have time to watch TV. He doesn't even know who's Rebecca Black." Sakura told him and rolled her eyes.

"…"

"…"

"What?"-Sakura

"I actually know her. I liked a page about her on facebook."Sasuke said bravely, daring Sakura to challenge him.

Sakura eyed him suspiciously and gave him the 'O RLY?' look and began to sing Friday while mimicking Rebecca's voice.

"It's Friday, Friday "  
"Gotta get down on Friday"  
"Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend"  
"Friday, Friday "  
"Gettin' down on Friday"  
"Everybody's lookin' forward to the weeke-"

"STOP!What the hell are you singing? You almost sounded like those little chipmunks!"Sasuke shouted in frustration

"See! You don't know her! You don't even have a facebook account!Anyway, why the hell did you pretend that you liked her page? It's far from being evil and badass! Even the people in Konoha don't like her!...and we are badass…but not evil!"-Sakura

"OK!OK! STOP! I was lying! It's not my fault I don't know her! We did not have a TV in Sound! Heck! We didn't even have electricity there! And why do you even watch the anime series? If I know, you just watch the parts that I showed up because you were THAAAT obsessed with me!"Sasuke whispered harshly, trying not to wake up his little brother.( Awwwww)

" The hell? I am so NOT obsessd with you!"

"Oh really?" Sasuke questions while he got up and searched for Sakura's DVD collection. He found it in her organizer and looked for a certain DVD. After successfully finding it, he stood up and smirked.

"Do you want me to play the part when you were cried like a baby while you confessed your undying love to me?"-grins-

"…."

" I was young back then. I was only 13. Things change" Sakura whispered" people…..change."

Silence

Silence

Silence

"Does that mean that you don't love me anymore?" Sasuke inquired

"…."

"…"

*sigh*

"Look. It's stupid that we had this argument about where we came from, this pathetic excuse of a story being in alternate universe, and about us being out of character.I wont ask you that question again if it makes you uncomfortable." Sasuke said as he went back to the bed

" Thank you." Sakura smiled at him

"Let's just go with the plot that this stupid author made." Sasuke muttered as he smelled her hair and closed his eyes. " I wonder if she even have a plot."

" Yeah."

"…."

"…."

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"You're not supposed to sleep here in my room. You have the guest room."

"Then why is Toushiro here?"

"We don't have extra rooms, and he doesn't want to sleep with you so he went to my room."

"Can't we switch rooms? I want to sleep here."

"No. Now scram"

Sasuke scowled, got up and left the room while saying. " That kid will be the death of me!"

"…."

"Toushi-kun, you can open your eyes now, he left already. I know you're just pretending" Sakura smiled to him knowingly

"Ne, Sakura-san" Toushiro asked "Why am I the only original character here? And I sound stupid,too"

"Well, my parents are original characters here, too. And, come on, you're not stupid. You're just somewhat…random."

"I think so…" he mumbled" since the stupid author is random..creating a chapter like this. It's stupid."

"Yeah" Sakura agreed"Why don't we just ignore her and sleep already?"

"Right" Toushiro muttered as he succumbed to sleep.

* * *

DONE!

I apologize to those who like Rebecca Black.

and.. oh!

I don't own Naruto! XD

and

Please.. no flames! I'm burning here in the Philippines already! It's so hooot!

Anyway, thanks for reading. Again, I hope you liked it!


	9. Apparently, it runs in the family

I apologize. It has been a long time since I last updated. I realized that in the previous chapters, my grammar was very horrible it looked like an 8-year old wrote it. But I have no plans of editing it because I am a lazy bum. Anyway, here is the next chapter for My life turned down side up. Please enjoy!

I do not own Naruto. Toushiro beat me to it.

* * *

It was breakfast time in the Haruno household and everything was quiet; the weather was fine, the pancakes were not overcooked, Sasuke is not behaving like a bitch in heat with Sakura, and the birds outside were chirping, probably singing praises to the bird god, Sasuke. It was the scene until a little interruption occurred. Surprisingly, this little interruption came from our little old man, Toushiro Uchiha.

"We are going back to the mansion." Said the little devil.

"WE?" said Sakura and Sasuke, staring at Toushiro as if a new position much more powerful than the Queen of England was announced and the certain title was given to Toushiro.

"Yes. WE. Have you gone deaf, spare number 2? " Toushiro inquired

" No! I have not gone deaf, why am I spare number 2? What does it even mean?!" Sasuke asked incredulously . Apparently, it was his little brother's time of the month. What an excellent achievement, getting his period without even reaching puberty yet!

"Ah, Sasuke-san." Sakura began " I think Toushiro got that idea from an anime we watched last night."

"Yes, Sakura-san. You are correct. " Toushiro said with pride " Sakura-san is a good match for you, spare. Her intelligence and logic is so great she can cover up your idiocy. Perhaps you will move on from your middle child syndrome and be productive after your marriage! I said-"

" Who said I have a middle child syndrome?! And again, why am I a SPARE?" The discussion was getting more heated and heated and Sakura's parents quickly finished their food and excused themselves.

"Had you not interrupted me, I would have told you! *ehem* As I was saying, there was this older brother in an anime last night where he considers his younger brother his spare where he would procure his new set of powerful red eyes. Though our birth orders were a little bit different, it does not matter to this Toushiro. You will be my spare eyes, or whatever it is that you have of value. Be happy I consider you my spare. No one can match up to my first spare, Itachi-nii." Toushiro said, proud of his declaration

Sakura stared at the brothers in front of her. She was sure Sasuke was the only one who has a mental illness in the family. Apparently, it runs in the family. She was starting to think Sasuke's parents were really siblings and their sons Sasuke and Toushiro were Kami's punishment for their incestuous relationship. She cringed at her imagination and just resumed her eating.

"THAT'S IT!" Sasuke snapped " WE ARE GOING HOME."

"Finally, you had some sense and agreed with me." Toushiro muttered as he finished his meal and went upstairs to get his suitcase. Sasuke growled and followed his little brother.

" Wait, am I supposed to join the two of you?" Sakura asked. Sasuke stopped walking and turned to Sakura with a look that says '_What do YOU think?'_

"YES! YES! I am going to the mansion, too. No need to be a bitch around me!" Sakura quickly said and ran upstairs to pack her clothes.

* * *

The three were inside a limousine and Toushiro is still talking about how awesome he is for bringing up the idea to go back home.

"Why did you want to go back anyway?" Sakura asked the toddler

"I forgot to do something that was extremely necessary." Toushiro said as he looked at the window

"Hn?" Sasuke asked

"There was this homework of mine that I was doing before I left for Suna. I was not able to finish it because I ran out of the color red. It was stated in the instruction that I should color the balloon red. I had maroon but maroon is NOT red. Which reminds me… Kakashi-san."

"Yes, Toushiro-sama?" Kakashi asked

"Please stop by at the mall to procure a new set of crayons. Make sure it has the color red." Toushiro said and resumed staring at the window.

Sakura stared at the kid.

And stared

And stared

"You had all of us to go back to the mansion just because of a freaking uncoloured balloon?!"

Toushiro turned to Sakura. " Is there something wrong with that?"

"YES! Everything is wrong with THAT!"

"I cannot see what is wrong with going home to resume my homework. I have a class tomorrow. The colouring assignment is due tomorrow, and my teacher will not stamp a star that has 'VERY GOOD' written below it on my fist if I failed her. Is there something wrong with that?" the little devil inquired, confused.

Again, Sakura stared

And stared

And stared

And stared until Sasuke said something that had Sakura's sanity jump out of the window.

"I see nothing wrong with it. We Uchihas are achievers. I once forgot to color a rainbow when I was a kid and threw a tantrum until the family left the Caribbean Sea to go home so I could color the rainbow. Though I still wonder why Itachi and father were glaring at me the whole time we were in the plane."

With this, Sakura finally concluded that Sasuke and Toushiro were Kami's punishment for Mikoto and Fugaku Uchiha's evil doings. Whatever it was, she was sure it was pretty heavy to have these kids as their punishment

* * *

Again, sorry for the very late update! Read and review! :)


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